I recently found out that a woman I know has a husband that is getting ready to deploy. I remember all to clearly what it's like in the pre-deployment part of a deployment. Especially since we went through it only a few months ago.
I don't miss the sudden urges to cry like there's no tomorrow but holding it in so Chad and the kids wouldn't see. There were so many times that I held it in and I regret doing that. Everyone needs a release and I held mine in for a long time. Maybe that's why this deployment has been so hard emotionally for me, because I didn't let myself express my feelings before. I remember breaking down one night after watching a movie. My father-in-law was here and the movie was so sad that I just lost it at the end and couldn't get control of myself. It was embarrassing to say the least.
I also don't miss the mad rush to make sure everything was up to par around the house and the cars were okay and everything was handled that needed to be. We spent most of our time pre-deployment making sure things were done around our new house instead of spending the time together. We bought a house 4 months before deployment and I don't recommend that to anyone. We missed so many precious moments of time that can never be gotten back. Yes, some things had to be done but alot of them could have waited. Chad was still doing things the day he left.
I certainly don't miss the time leading up to deployment day. Just knowing that it was coming and there was nothing you could do about it. The waiting and knowing was the hardest part.
I hate the feeling of dreaming about reunion day yet knowing that it's still so far away......
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
It nevers gets easier, i'm learning that. It seems like one day I think i'm finally getting a grip and doing good and then the next it hits me like a ton of bricks and i'm an emotional mess missing Chad. I hate this, I want my husband back.
On a more happy note, i've been doing Zumba. I still haven't gotten the moves down yet but I will eventually....I hope. It's fun and lots of cardio which is what I need. Fun cardio is so much easier than boring cardio. I'm doing the Sculpt and Tone recommeded workout set from the booklet that came with it. It's two workouts and you alternate days, taking every 4th day off. It should go like this:
Sculpt and Tone followed by Stretch (45 minutes)
20 Minute Express followed by Flat Abs (40 minutes total)
Sculpt and Tone followed by Stretch
Free Day
20 Minute Express followed by Flat Abs
etc.
The Sculpt and Tone workout uses the weights that came with the set. They are 2lb. weights with shakers in them to make noise.
I started this series on Wednesday but I skipped yesterday because I shoveled ice and slush for an hour or more in the driveway and that was plenty workout enough for me. So today will be the 20 minute express and abs.
On a more happy note, i've been doing Zumba. I still haven't gotten the moves down yet but I will eventually....I hope. It's fun and lots of cardio which is what I need. Fun cardio is so much easier than boring cardio. I'm doing the Sculpt and Tone recommeded workout set from the booklet that came with it. It's two workouts and you alternate days, taking every 4th day off. It should go like this:
Sculpt and Tone followed by Stretch (45 minutes)
20 Minute Express followed by Flat Abs (40 minutes total)
Sculpt and Tone followed by Stretch
Free Day
20 Minute Express followed by Flat Abs
etc.
The Sculpt and Tone workout uses the weights that came with the set. They are 2lb. weights with shakers in them to make noise.
I started this series on Wednesday but I skipped yesterday because I shoveled ice and slush for an hour or more in the driveway and that was plenty workout enough for me. So today will be the 20 minute express and abs.
Monday, January 24, 2011
It finally came!!
ZUMBA that is. I have been checking the tracker on this sucker every day to see where it was and when it might be delivered. Today I checked and it had finally been scanned into my small town post office. I had to go there anyway this afternoon to mail Chad's birthday/Valentine package so I asked if I could just get it instead of having it delivered.
I couldn't resist opening it in the truck while waiting for Samuel to get out of school. When we got home I popped the Basics DVD into the player and did my first Zumba ever. I love the way they break down the steps in the Basic section. They show each step to you in three moves and then combine it at full speed afterward. I do fine during the 3 moves but when they combine them at full speed i'm lost. I'm definitely slow but hopefully that will change the more I do it and learn the moves. The Basics workout was 60 minutes long. I may have to do it for a few more days to try and learn the moves better. I was also doing it in socks which is not a good idea. You need traction to keep from sliding all over the place in order to really do the moves correctly.
So excited!!
I couldn't resist opening it in the truck while waiting for Samuel to get out of school. When we got home I popped the Basics DVD into the player and did my first Zumba ever. I love the way they break down the steps in the Basic section. They show each step to you in three moves and then combine it at full speed afterward. I do fine during the 3 moves but when they combine them at full speed i'm lost. I'm definitely slow but hopefully that will change the more I do it and learn the moves. The Basics workout was 60 minutes long. I may have to do it for a few more days to try and learn the moves better. I was also doing it in socks which is not a good idea. You need traction to keep from sliding all over the place in order to really do the moves correctly.
So excited!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Chocolate Chip Streusel Muffins
2 c. Bisquick baking mix
1/4 c. sugar
1 egg
2/3 c. milk
1 c. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use regular size and it comes out fine)
1/4 c. chopped nuts (optional)
2 Tbsp. sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
Preheat oven to 400*F.
Cinnamon sugar topping: mix 2 Tbsp. sugar and 2 tsp. cinnamon together in a bowl and set aside.
Combine Bisquick, sugar, egg, and milk. Beat with a spoon till combined (will be lumpy). Stir in mini chips and nuts, if using.
Fill greased or lined muffin cups 3/4 full with batter. Sprinkle each muffin with 1/2 tsp. sugar-cinnamon topping.
Bake 15-17 minutes or until lightly browned. Serve warm with butter.
1/4 c. sugar
1 egg
2/3 c. milk
1 c. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use regular size and it comes out fine)
1/4 c. chopped nuts (optional)
2 Tbsp. sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
Preheat oven to 400*F.
Cinnamon sugar topping: mix 2 Tbsp. sugar and 2 tsp. cinnamon together in a bowl and set aside.
Combine Bisquick, sugar, egg, and milk. Beat with a spoon till combined (will be lumpy). Stir in mini chips and nuts, if using.
Fill greased or lined muffin cups 3/4 full with batter. Sprinkle each muffin with 1/2 tsp. sugar-cinnamon topping.
Bake 15-17 minutes or until lightly browned. Serve warm with butter.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
What I've Been Baking Lately....
Orange Muffins
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. sugar
2 tsp. orange peel, grated
2 eggs
1/2 c. butter, melted
2/3 c. orange juice
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. chopped nuts (almonds or pecans work best)
Preheat oven to 375*F. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, orange peel. Add eggs one at a time. Add butter, orange juice, vanilla and mix. Fill muffin cups. I usually get about 18-20 muffins out of this.
Topping:
1 Tbsp. flour
1/3 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 Tbsp. butter, melted
Combine.
Sprinkle on batter. Bake 15-20 minutes.
Another muffin recipe tomorrow!
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. sugar
2 tsp. orange peel, grated
2 eggs
1/2 c. butter, melted
2/3 c. orange juice
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. chopped nuts (almonds or pecans work best)
Preheat oven to 375*F. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, orange peel. Add eggs one at a time. Add butter, orange juice, vanilla and mix. Fill muffin cups. I usually get about 18-20 muffins out of this.
Topping:
1 Tbsp. flour
1/3 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 Tbsp. butter, melted
Combine.
Sprinkle on batter. Bake 15-20 minutes.
Another muffin recipe tomorrow!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Zumba
I did it....I broke down and ordered the Zumba Fitness Total Body Transformation System DVD Set. Everyone has been talking about Zumba and how much fun it is and how great it is, etc. I see it on television everywhere, so I joined in the craze and will be trying it out. I ordered mine on Amazon.com because it was the least expensive since there is free shipping. It has already shipped and i'm hoping it will be here this week so I can start Zumbaing (is that a word?).
In the meantime I have pulled out my Yoga Booty Ballet from way back. It's fun but it's been so long that I forgot the moves. I gave up on Jillian. I hit Level 2 and it killed my back so I said enough. I would rather do something that I like and is fun than something that I force myself to do everyday and will be in pain for (not the good kind of workout pain).
What are you doing for exercise?
In the meantime I have pulled out my Yoga Booty Ballet from way back. It's fun but it's been so long that I forgot the moves. I gave up on Jillian. I hit Level 2 and it killed my back so I said enough. I would rather do something that I like and is fun than something that I force myself to do everyday and will be in pain for (not the good kind of workout pain).
What are you doing for exercise?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Happy Anniversary to Us!
Seven years ago today in El Paso, Texas at the Courthouse with Michael Epperson and the Blackard's as witnesses, I married the love of my life. Afterwards we went back to our apartment and had taco dip and wine. Well Chad didn't have wine because he doesn't drink, but the rest of us did.
Since then we have moved many times and had 2 more children. We've been through two separations/deployments (still going through one right now) thanks to the Army.
I love you Chad! You are my world and the only one for me. Happy Anniversary to us!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Anniversary
Tomorrow, January 16th, is our 7th wedding anniversary! Two of those years have been spent apart due to deployments. Chad is deployed this year for our anniversary but he still managed to send me flowers and presents.
Love you honey!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Snow Days
We started getting snow on Sunday afternoon and it continued through Monday afternoon. I don't know for sure how many inches we got but I would say at least 6 inches, maybe more. Samuel was out of school yesterday and today. We'll see tomorrow if they go back, it's supposed to be colder tomorrow than it was today.
We had good snow days though. Yesterday the kids went out and played twice, we played Monopoly on the Wii and hung out. Today we played Monopoly on the Wii again and the kids played most of the day inside because the wind chill was just too much for them to be outside.
Someone came and plowed half of my driveway. I am very appreciative of whoever did it. It was a great Random Act of Kindness and it led to a discussion with Addison about RAOK.
Both of my meetings for this week are cancelled so other than leaving the house tomorrow for Eli's doctor appointment, my prescription, and groceries we don't have to leave until Friday after school to take Samuel to meet his dad for the weekend. I'm really enjoying this week at home.
I've developed a nasty cold, as has Addison and it's really kicking my butt. We are completely out of Kleenex already so definitely going to get lots of that tomorrow.
We had good snow days though. Yesterday the kids went out and played twice, we played Monopoly on the Wii and hung out. Today we played Monopoly on the Wii again and the kids played most of the day inside because the wind chill was just too much for them to be outside.
Someone came and plowed half of my driveway. I am very appreciative of whoever did it. It was a great Random Act of Kindness and it led to a discussion with Addison about RAOK.
Both of my meetings for this week are cancelled so other than leaving the house tomorrow for Eli's doctor appointment, my prescription, and groceries we don't have to leave until Friday after school to take Samuel to meet his dad for the weekend. I'm really enjoying this week at home.
I've developed a nasty cold, as has Addison and it's really kicking my butt. We are completely out of Kleenex already so definitely going to get lots of that tomorrow.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Deployment Effects
So I have finally witnessed the effects that this deployment is having on at least one of my children and it wasn't pretty.
My oldest totally broke down in the middle of dinner last night, just out of nowhere. He was crying so hard, it was heart breaking. I asked what was wrong and he said he missed my husband. After he finally calmed down enough to talk he said he was remembering how they play around and wrestle and stuff.
And it doesn't help that he hardly ever gets to talk to him like the rest of us do because he's always in school when ever Chad is online so the only time he gets is every other weekend.
Anyway, it's awful knowing that you can't do anything to make it better, that no matter what daddy is going to be gone for a long time yet. We're only 3 months into this deployment and it's an indefinite deployment so we really have no idea when the end will be.
Addison spends alot of time writing "letters" to daddy or drawing pictures for him and she gets to talk to him frequently on the webcam. Eli is very clingy and has separation anxiety with me. He also tends to cling to male figures like my brother whenever he's around.
My oldest totally broke down in the middle of dinner last night, just out of nowhere. He was crying so hard, it was heart breaking. I asked what was wrong and he said he missed my husband. After he finally calmed down enough to talk he said he was remembering how they play around and wrestle and stuff.
And it doesn't help that he hardly ever gets to talk to him like the rest of us do because he's always in school when ever Chad is online so the only time he gets is every other weekend.
Anyway, it's awful knowing that you can't do anything to make it better, that no matter what daddy is going to be gone for a long time yet. We're only 3 months into this deployment and it's an indefinite deployment so we really have no idea when the end will be.
Addison spends alot of time writing "letters" to daddy or drawing pictures for him and she gets to talk to him frequently on the webcam. Eli is very clingy and has separation anxiety with me. He also tends to cling to male figures like my brother whenever he's around.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Secrets of Adulthood
You know what I just realized? I have blogged every day since the New Year!! YAY, GO ME!
Yesterday I did Day 2 of the 30 Day Shred. It was a bit harder because I was sore from the first day. Today i'm going to have to do it in the afternoon instead of in the morning because life calls. But i'll work it in somewhere because it's too soon to skip a day or else I might just not start back up.
I really wanted to share some of the Secrets of Adulthood that i've been thinking about:
* You attract more bees with honey.
* Good things in life are worth waiting for.
* Always take responsibility for your actions, don't play the blame game.
* Life is not always about you.
* You can only change yourself.
* You can't help everyone.
* Always put your shopping cart away in the corral.
:)
Yesterday I did Day 2 of the 30 Day Shred. It was a bit harder because I was sore from the first day. Today i'm going to have to do it in the afternoon instead of in the morning because life calls. But i'll work it in somewhere because it's too soon to skip a day or else I might just not start back up.
I really wanted to share some of the Secrets of Adulthood that i've been thinking about:
* You attract more bees with honey.
* Good things in life are worth waiting for.
* Always take responsibility for your actions, don't play the blame game.
* Life is not always about you.
* You can only change yourself.
* You can't help everyone.
* Always put your shopping cart away in the corral.
:)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
My 12 Commandments
Here are my 12 Commandments:
1. Be Present
2. Appreciate More
3. Let It Go
4. Lighten Up
5. Move Forward, Stop Looking Back
6. Imperfection IS Perfection
7. Have FUN!
8. Do Things NOW, Not Later
9. Think Positive: Be Positive
10. Get Back to ME
11. Love More
12. Learn More
1. Be Present
2. Appreciate More
3. Let It Go
4. Lighten Up
5. Move Forward, Stop Looking Back
6. Imperfection IS Perfection
7. Have FUN!
8. Do Things NOW, Not Later
9. Think Positive: Be Positive
10. Get Back to ME
11. Love More
12. Learn More
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Exercise
This morning I decided to get off my butt and exercise. I pulled out my weights and mat and put Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred into the DVD player. While I waited for it to start I got everything ready and a glass of water.
Day 1 is complete! Now I just have to make myself stick with it. I felt a bit queasy afterwards, but after a shower and some water i'm feeling pretty good.
Day 1 is complete! Now I just have to make myself stick with it. I felt a bit queasy afterwards, but after a shower and some water i'm feeling pretty good.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Missing Me.......
You know what I miss?
I miss cowboy boots and wrangler jeans. The countryside where all you see are trees and fields. I miss gravel roads and small creek beds, Christmas tree farms, and a friendly wave when you meet another car passing on the road. A tiny country store and climbing trees. Riding bikes all over the country roads on a hot summer day.
I miss the girl that was always smiling, was always nice and was pretty much friends with everyone. I miss the way she would get excited about hunting and fishing and being outside. I miss the time when the television was rarely turned on except to watch a favorite show now and then. More time was spent outside or listening to the radio, laying under the big blue sky watching the clouds and playing make believe.
I miss 4H and cows and mud and fairs. I miss pickup trucks and big mud tires.
I miss the me that I lost so long ago........ I want to be that small town country girl again and I want to drag my husband and kids along and share with them everything that I was.
I miss cowboy boots and wrangler jeans. The countryside where all you see are trees and fields. I miss gravel roads and small creek beds, Christmas tree farms, and a friendly wave when you meet another car passing on the road. A tiny country store and climbing trees. Riding bikes all over the country roads on a hot summer day.
I miss the girl that was always smiling, was always nice and was pretty much friends with everyone. I miss the way she would get excited about hunting and fishing and being outside. I miss the time when the television was rarely turned on except to watch a favorite show now and then. More time was spent outside or listening to the radio, laying under the big blue sky watching the clouds and playing make believe.
I miss 4H and cows and mud and fairs. I miss pickup trucks and big mud tires.
I miss the me that I lost so long ago........ I want to be that small town country girl again and I want to drag my husband and kids along and share with them everything that I was.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Some Other Goals for January
In addition to my Word for 2011, there are some other things that I want to push myself to do.
* Blog at least 3 times a week
* Participate in Celebrate Me Days- this is something that was started on a message board i'm on and each month has a different theme this year. The premise is that on your birth day each month you will do something nice for yourself or to take care of yourself. Just take time for you.
* Declutter Club- Again, this is something started on the message board. Each month has a Main Focus and a Mini Focus. For January, my Main Focus is the master bedroom and my Mini Focus is the closet in the bedroom.
* Blog at least 3 times a week
* Participate in Celebrate Me Days- this is something that was started on a message board i'm on and each month has a different theme this year. The premise is that on your birth day each month you will do something nice for yourself or to take care of yourself. Just take time for you.
* Declutter Club- Again, this is something started on the message board. Each month has a Main Focus and a Mini Focus. For January, my Main Focus is the master bedroom and my Mini Focus is the closet in the bedroom.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Word for 2011: Journey
I really like to put some time and thought into my Word for each year. I want it to be something that reflects the way I feel and what I am seeking. This upcoming year, 2011, will be spent mostly with my husband in Iraq. I recently read the book The Happiness Project and was inspired by her method and story. I am going to start my own Happiness Project based on my life and what I think I need to work on. This will be combined with my Word for the year.
I will break it down by month so I don't get overwhelmed by a huge list of things or traits I want to work on. I'm trying to group them based on the overall theme of each month.
The word Journey will represent the personal, emotional, and physical Journey's I will be taking on during the year. Each month will be a different Journey in my life and a way for me to grow in all aspects. I want to learn to relax and enjoy the moments instead of worrying about what housework needs to be done or what I need to do tomorrow. I want to be present, not always looking forward or back. I want to laugh and smile more and get back to my roots. I'm a country girl at heart and i've let my roots slip away. I want to get back to the ME I know I am. The girl that was always smiling and kind, but still had a fire in her and a passion for things.
I still have alot of work to do ironing out the wrinkles in my plan for the year. I'm still trying to figure out how to incorporate things that I feel are important. I do know what I want for January and will be tracking everything here.
January's Journey: Health and Fitness
** I want to be more healthy and fit, which will also help to boost my energy level so I don't feel so run down and tired all the time.
- Exercise at least 3 times a week for 20-30 minutes a day
- Drink WATER, lots of it!
- Eat more veggies and fruits
- Cut out soda, except an occassional one
- Take a few minutes each day to just be, sit quietly and think about a positive affirmation
- Laugh and smile more
I am planning on starting the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred again. I would also like to try out the new fitness room for mom's that was made at a gym on post. It's free for me to use and they have a play area inside the room where the kids can play while I exercise on a treadmill, elliptical machine or a stationary bike. So there's really NO excuse not to go.
While i'm structuring my menu planning I am going to make sure to be mindful of the foods I plan and be sure to add a veggie or fruit to each meal. That will give us 3 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.
This is my start. If it needs adapting then I will adapt it. Nothing is set in stone. I want to see where my monthly Journey's lead as they are flexible, but i'm going to try my best and go in with a positive attitude and that's all I can do.
I will break it down by month so I don't get overwhelmed by a huge list of things or traits I want to work on. I'm trying to group them based on the overall theme of each month.
The word Journey will represent the personal, emotional, and physical Journey's I will be taking on during the year. Each month will be a different Journey in my life and a way for me to grow in all aspects. I want to learn to relax and enjoy the moments instead of worrying about what housework needs to be done or what I need to do tomorrow. I want to be present, not always looking forward or back. I want to laugh and smile more and get back to my roots. I'm a country girl at heart and i've let my roots slip away. I want to get back to the ME I know I am. The girl that was always smiling and kind, but still had a fire in her and a passion for things.
I still have alot of work to do ironing out the wrinkles in my plan for the year. I'm still trying to figure out how to incorporate things that I feel are important. I do know what I want for January and will be tracking everything here.
January's Journey: Health and Fitness
** I want to be more healthy and fit, which will also help to boost my energy level so I don't feel so run down and tired all the time.
- Exercise at least 3 times a week for 20-30 minutes a day
- Drink WATER, lots of it!
- Eat more veggies and fruits
- Cut out soda, except an occassional one
- Take a few minutes each day to just be, sit quietly and think about a positive affirmation
- Laugh and smile more
I am planning on starting the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred again. I would also like to try out the new fitness room for mom's that was made at a gym on post. It's free for me to use and they have a play area inside the room where the kids can play while I exercise on a treadmill, elliptical machine or a stationary bike. So there's really NO excuse not to go.
While i'm structuring my menu planning I am going to make sure to be mindful of the foods I plan and be sure to add a veggie or fruit to each meal. That will give us 3 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.
This is my start. If it needs adapting then I will adapt it. Nothing is set in stone. I want to see where my monthly Journey's lead as they are flexible, but i'm going to try my best and go in with a positive attitude and that's all I can do.
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