Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bittersweet

Last week I went to help welcome back a flight of our soldiers from Iraq.  It was a bittersweet experience for me since my husband was not on this flight and won’t be home for a little bit longer.  While I wished my husband were coming home too, it was definitely heartwarming to see the excitement of the families and children waiting for their Soldier to walk through those doors.  I was doing pretty good until a kid ran from the bleachers when they saw their dad and hugged him while the soldiers were filing in.  It brought tears to my eyes and the soldier had the biggest grin on his face. 
Every day I’m reminded in some way of just how much deployment affects us all, especially children.  There are so many different emotions that come with a deployment, some are good and some are bad.  I think I tend to try and ignore it all and just go on with my day to day.  Every once in a while I let the darkness creep in and go to that place where it’s not alright and I’m not okay, but only for a quick time and then I snap myself out of it and move on.  I think this way of dealing will bite me in the butt one day when it all actually catches up to me, but really, that’s how I deal with a lot of things in life and after awhile it weighs you down.  I’m sure I would be a great case for a psychologist.  J 

I feel like major life events don’t affect me like they do most people.  Sure I get happy and angry and sad depending on the situation, but sometimes I feel emotionally closed off or like I’m holding my breath.  I think for the last year I’ve been holding my breath….waiting.  I’ll be glad when I can finally let it out and breathe easy for a while.      

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Welcome Home Chad!!!!! I am so happy for you Jessica. And I know the kids are over joyed.
Ahorsesoul