So i'm in a funk again. It hit last night with a vengeance while watching some CMA show on ABC. Music gets me and can take me back or wherever I need to go. I'm really missing my country roots right now. I know they are always in me but i'm just really missing being in the country and back home I think. Not Warsaw, my real home where I did most of my growing up with my first real friends.
Chad is only a couple months away from coming home and I can't hardly stand it. My strength comes in cycles and it has finally cycled back around to that desperate need/want to have my husband back. It's a different kind of urge than say needing a drink of water or something to eat. It's primal and so stronge you just about have to tie yourself down. I know there's nothing I can do about it which makes it that much worse. I can't just hop on a plane and go see him or call him anytime I want to hear his voice. I wish it were that simple. It will pass and i'll be fine, but it's hard to overcome especially when you have other spouses putting their feelings on top of yours because they too are feeling the anxiousness that comes with waiting.
Lots to think about and deal with right now inside my head......but i'll work it out.