Monday, October 11, 2010


A few days have passed since Chad left. I'm not as raw with emotion as I was over the weekend. I haven't shed a tear since Saturday. I feel stronger, better able to carry on. I know I have a great support system and I hope that others do as well and if they don't, I hope they take the initiative and create one.

I've spoken to Chad a couple times for the very short 10 minute conversations that pass by entirely too quickly. It's amazing how you know you have a very limited amount of time so you try to cram everything in and then still have moments of silence when you're not sure what to talk about.

Eli was standing at the dining room window calling for dada this morning because he saw the truck parked outside. He's only 18 months old so he doesn't really understand anything that's going on.

I find myself wondering around the house looking for something to satisfy the emptiness in my mind. I feel that if I stop for too long the sadness may creep in and rob me of my sanity. This morning I undertook the task of going through old magazines, ripping out pages I want to keep, then putting them into a pile to get rid of. I still have a stack to go but have grown bored with it already.

It's a beautifully overcast day outside and the temperature is great, a mere 61*. Samuel had school today or else we may have just gone to the zoo with our free passes that we've had forever.

Off to roam the homestead!

1 comment:

Mel said...

You are doing great, Jessica. Keeping busy is a good idea.