Yesterday I put myself out there and attended my first Moms Club playdate. I was nervous walking into someone’s house that I didn’t know with people who probably already knew each other from previous playdates. My nerves were quickly eased by how nice everyone was. There were 5 other moms there with their kids. We were all military so we talked about where we’d been and good doctors in the area, our kids… I ended up joining the group and paying my yearly dues. I’m excited to attend another event to work on building the friendships that were hopefully started yesterday and to meet more moms.
I always worry about what people think of me when they meet me and wonder if they like me or think I’m weird. My stepmom said to me that I think I’m not good enough for people and that’s not true and I realized that she’s right. For some reason I think I’m not as good as others and don’t deserve to have good friends. I think I sabotage myself, especially since we’ve moved up here. My confidence has been crushed and I need to find some way to get it back.
I’ve never been good at follow through with making plans. My neighbor and I talk all the time about we should do this or do that and then neither of us ever suggests or asks the other when it’s time to do the thing we were talking about. I did invite them to go with us to storytime last week and we did and it was fun. I just need to do it more often. I’ve become such a homebody since we’ve moved here and I would rather stay home then go out without Chad. I’ve never been like that before so it’s something different for me to feel this way. I need to get over it though, especially if he’s deploying next year.